My America: Social Manners

In My America, there would be such a thing as what I call, “Social Manners.” In My America, social manners means acting as though you care about other people as well as what other people think about your appearance, the way you act, the way you drive, the words that come out of your mouth and how loud your music is as you drive by darkened houses as your neighbors were allowed to continue sleeping instead of being awoken by your blaring music that they weren’t interested in hearing in the first place. Social manners would be the old fashioned idea of being considerate to others as well as considering what they think of you as a barometer of your words and deeds.

No one would be doing things like wearing their pants so low that their underwear shows, no matter how “purdy” they are. Neither male nor female would think it correct, good, or socially acceptable to wear pants that show what no one else is interested in seeing. Or, if someone else is interested in seeing what kind of “unders” you have on, then you wouldn’t be interested in showing them; at least, not in public.

In My America, it would be an unusual thing – an aberration, really – that anyone would lie. It would be so unusual that finding out that someone – anyone: especially politicians who are supposed to represent you -- lied to you. It would shock you so much so that you would be unwilling to associate with them. You might take legal action against them, or take action to get them thrown out of office, but you would not be their friend. As it is today (thanks in part to the Liar for Hire, Bill Clinton), lying by politicians, “friends” and family is so acceptable that even their political opponents admit that “…he is an exceptionally good liar.”

Lying would be taught as a bad thing in school from Pre-K to Ph.D. and thought of by society not as a way to get what you want and as acceptable as premarital sex but as a mark against your character (actually, lack thereof). People would start considering liars as piranhas, societal outcasts, and someone to protect the children against. Jail time would not be necessary, unless perjury is involved, or the lie leads to a death or the betrayal of one’s country, but lying would be almost as bad as embezzling. Considering the commonalities (i.e.: both commonly assume some sort of trust being betrayed, one party being the “victim” and the other the “perp”, etc.), one would think that the social penalties for lying would be more severe as in embezzling, but, no. Lying is considered an art, a skill, a craft for which some are extremely talented while others not so and it is the unskilled that pay the price more often than those with more skill. In My America, lying would be in the “minus” category of personal behavior and not considered something to be proud of.

In My America, table manners would be thought of as a necessity, not a forgotten thing of the 1950s. People would eat at mealtimes in the mall, restaurant or picnics, chewing with their mouths closed, table napkins on their laps, and asking, “Please pass…” instead of just standing up and grabbing. Lip smacking would be frowned upon as gross and uncouth.

In My America, young men would be taught to help a lady with her coat, open the door for her, help her in and out of vehicles (especially the tall SUVs), offer her his arm as they walk down the street, and consider women not the weaker sex, but the gentler gender. A young man would be proud to be seen with a well-mannered, well-dressed young lady on his arm, not just thinking about getting into her pants once they get somewhere less public. This would teach a young man – and a young girl – the value of women more than looking at any “girlie” magazine ever could because young men would learn to consider the whole girl as a precious thing, and not just what’s between her legs.

In My America, dancing would not be a mere sexual intercourse impersonation with pumps, thrusts and gyrations, as it is today. The idea of dancing would return to something of a “social graces” category in which one learns to carry on conversations, be comfortable with many different situations and many different people. One would learn that it is difficult to maneuver a partner with a mind of her/his own, but that with the right balance of skill and tact, it can be done: a valuable lesson to be had.

In My America, people would respect the law and the police forces that enforce those laws. When something happened that law enforcement was called out, people would try to help, answer questions as accurately and helpfully as possible and do what the officers told them to do. No one would argue with them, no one would try to harm them and no one would spit on them. Riots would be a thing of the past, and peace would reign. Of course, this “respect the law” would include the people who enforce the law, so there would be no corruption within the ranks of the police forces (sheriff’s office, State troopers, etc.).

In My America, people would respect other people’s property, not take what they wanted from your yard, throw their trash in your yard and toss nasty things into your yard, etc., as one of our current neighbors is doing to us. I was raised that if something wasn’t ours we were not to touch it unless we were moving it out of the way, to take it to its proper owner, or to put it where it would be safer until the proper owner came back for it. The things I see the youth (and some adults) doing nowadays was unthinkable to most of the youth when I was a kid. But today, I see not only are the youth doing this kind of crud, but their parents are sometimes out there supporting them and standing up for them (as in our neighbor’s case)! Parents should never be a cheerleader for bad behavior, but in our neighbor, we see that as a regular occurrence. More is the pity; things could be so different.

In My America, we would have a more genteel nation, without the violence, without the language, without the lack of respect for people, their property – and their ears! In My America, we would have our freedoms intact as well as our dignity and the respect and gratitude of our friends, family and neighbors; unlike today.